10 Questions for “Post-Racial” America

So what do we do now?  Where to place all this excitement?  We know our country is different now but none of us are quite sure exactly where the changes will appear.  Example, I was at the polls about to vote and ABC showed up and started interviewing a few folks in line… Dude came up to me and asked a couple of basic questions, I lobbed up a couple of basic answers and he starts to move on.  The old White lady in front of me turns to me and Anthony Johnson, the reporter, and says, “That was a really good interview!”  Word?!  It was no big deal.  Is this part of the change?  Are White folks going to be overly nice just in case ? [Maybe he does know that Obama dude... can't be too careful!]  Will they feel like they need to get their house in order? [like cats finding religion in the hospital or on death row.] 

As the saying goes, this is a problem I want to have.  But I have questions.  Will there be a period where even the most conservative White business man will feel compelled to give me a soul shake and a bro hug?  There could be all those awkward moments where I extend my hand but the other guy leans in… then I lean in but he says, “Oh!” and extends his hand… eventually we bump foreheads in the confusion and just say, “hi”.  Every new meeting could be like meeting a foreign dignitary.  Will White folks feel the need to study our “customs” in order to be prepared?  I really don’t want random White folks asking me when the next Cool Kids cd drops as an ice breaker.  And don’t start telling me I look like him by way of compliment [that sh*t will still be offensive... we don't all look alike.]

I’m sure in the coming months and years we will sort through this new reality.  We should follow Barack’s business-like approach and use some time-honored tools to work through the open issues.  In that spirit, I propose we ”board” the issues and questions as they come up and form some sub-groups to work them out.  I have started a list of general questions and I welcome your input:

Is Barack “Black enough” now?

Is the new back-handed compliment You Sound SoMuch Like Barack Obama ?

Will Black folks start threatening to call the President on White folks when stuff gets ill?

Will White kids be accused of “trying to act Black” when they overachieve?

Will we see little White girls with cornrows and beads even when they aren’t returning from a Jamaican vacation?

How long before the first White person charges reverse discrimination on something?

How long before Black folks start asking for reparations?

How long before the first Black guy gets fired for talking sh*t to his boss?  [Uhh, to clarify, we got a President not immunity.]

Will it be okay for White girls to bring home ivy-educated, Black guys with funny-sounding names? [I'm just asking...]

Are angry old White guys going the way of the DoDo bird? [Okay, I'm reaching now.]

Seriously, this is an exciting and undefined time.  It will be interesting to see if we take advantage of the best excuse we have ever had to heal and come together.  I expect our new President will be wise enough to avoid the error of many Black executives who actually hinder the growth of other Blacks to prove they are not biased.  This man has successfully walked the tightrope for years, he’s like a cultural Flying Wallenda… I trust he will strike the right balance for all of us.  Like a newborn colt, we will stumble, inadvertently offending and being offended, but with determination we will find our legs in fairly short order.

I think President-elect Obama should create a cabinet-level position, Secretary of Cultural Interpretation.  This new Secretary would be responsible for explaining cultural norms, ruling on possible conflicts and otherwise setting a direction for how we will live and work together.  For example, Black folks don’t get all familiar with the President [he is only theoretically your homeboy]… don’t greet him with, “s’up” or give him a pound.  White folks don’t ever bring potato salad to the White House picnic [we don't eat just anybody's potato salad AND y'all leave the skin on the potatoes - ughh.]  These are small but important examples of the need for this position.  Frankly, Mr. President-elect, I feel uniquely qualified and if called I will serve.

So we can’t be shy, let’s get the questions on the table and work it out.  We can do this America… I mean post-racial America.  We just might need a little help… and some answers.

Oh, and one last question, we all knew Bush was bad going in but did anyone think he would f*ck up so bad that Barack Obama could be elected President?