Who Are You Wearing?

Remember when brands didn’t matter?  Check that… sneaker brands have ALWAYS mattered.  But coffee?  I don’t drink the stuff but I know the big decision used to be black or light.  Now it’s a question of which Yemen Mocca Blend with Madagascar cinnamon you are going to buy… and whether you should get the deici.  It’s crazy.  Car brands were pretty much divided by cost… Benz or Porsche meant you had stupid money, Caddy or Lincoln meant you had new money, everything else was kind of the same.  We’re so brand conscious now you have to come correct with the series within the brand [remember when Biggie thought a 3 series was the sh*t?] 

‘Bama Said Knock You Out

Yo, Hillary is unraveling in front of our eyes.  Honestly.  She is like a boxer who, expecting a knockout, trains for a five round fight and looks lost in the 10th round… on some, “how did I get here?!”  Did she really open last night by whining about having to answer questions first?!?!  Did a Presidential hopeful actually reference Saturday Night Live to make her point?  Saturday Night Live!!  That show is so hip and on point they are currently trying to cast someone to play Barack on the show.  So far they are using a White guy.  That’s who she chose to use to cosign that the big, bad commentators are picking on her. 

Uhh… Yeah… Um…

I think I have blogger’s block. 

When I started this joint last October the ideas were just flowing.  I was dutifully posting every other day, at least.  Now… squat.  Have I said everything I have to say already?  Highly unlikely.  I think it has more to do with my original intent for Darkest Berry… when I have an opinion about something or when something fires me up or when something cracks me up, I’ll write a post.  I don’t want to post just for the sake of having something up here.   

FEMA: An Unnatural Disaster

The following is a fictional account though it may bear a striking resemblance to real people, places and things.  The views expressed herein are those of the author though they are held by many affected by the tragedy.  Any similarities to actual events are completely intentional. 

“Hi, Mrs. Williams?  This is Brownie, we received your request for a FEMA trailer and I’m happy to report we have one ready to go for you and your family!”

“Hi Brownie.  Yeah, we filled out the application a year ago.  We have been living in a couple of abandoned cars since then… we kinda gave up on you guys.”

Brownie: “Well… uh… we’re ready now…”  

Next On 106 and Park: B-Rocka!!

I’m conflicted about the new trend of Presidential candidates as late night comedians or video stars but I guess it’s not all bad.  Suddenly I’m discussing polling margins of error with the young Eastern European chick making my sandwich at the local deli.  I went to vote in the primary and the two young sisters in front of me smelled faintly of Now & Laters [do they still make those?] and lip gloss.  I was sure this was the first vote they ever cast that didn’t involve a singer, video or dancer.  I was not mad.  Make no mistake, this is all Barack.